Life As I Know It

  I started blogging because I enjoy writing. I started writing because I had to vent. Somewhere along the way I started enjoying the process of writing without a set goal. The idea of just letting a meandering thought form into a blog post came naturally. This little hobby got me to express myself. Then I graduated college, started working, had too many fleeting thoughts that I couldn’t even filter to pick one aside and write about it. On days when clarity allowed, I was able to write even though it wasn’t often. Then in the zeal to get a friend to pull herself out of a rut I talked myself into blogging with her. It began the way any good thing does. Things were going smoothly. We were churning out posts and we were building a readership. We started putting up our blog updates as statuses, we’d send our friends the link to our latest post, we were relentless in our pursuit to expand our readership. Like any pursuit to succeed a plan and strategy needs to be set in place to achie...

Disclaimer: This post contains content that might not be suitable for people below the age of 18. Read at your own discretion. It is true that the Beatles sang, “All we need is love”, BUT in India the theme for what makes the world spin can be summed in one line, “All we need is a penis”. Here is why I think that – From the time you are born, the first thing people check is to see if you have an appendage between your legs. If you don’t, you easily qualify for the game – “Quest for a Penis”. Hereon onwards you have to go looking for one. The people around you will further emphasize the superiority of the Penis by telling you that EVERYTHING you do on this planet will be irrelevant unless you succeed in your quest for the Penis. BUT there is a catch, you can’t just get any Penis, you have to adhere to the laws of religion, caste, sub caste (if any) ooooh and dare you not forget-Gotra. If the penis you find doesn’t pass the above test, that Penis is useless. BUT if you find...

A friend of mine who is extremely concerned about me asked me why I never carry out all my revenge seeking schemes. I make such elaborate plans in my head and, even when I am thinking those thoughts, I know it is unrealistic. But the pleasure of thinking them is all mine hence, I indulge in it. The unrealistic aspect of my schemes renders them impractical ergo inexecutable. Just the fact that I did what I wanted to them in my head is satisfaction enough, because I don’t have to face the consequences of being accused, taken into custody and then convicted. Prevents all the tax payers money from being splurged on a little human who takes up very little space on the planet. Also there are so many ways to harm someone in your mind and if you give your imagination a free rein, there are such splendid possibilities. For your own personal viewing you can execute every single plan. That would NEVER have been possible if in reality I executed one course of revenge. THAT would have been...

I previously wrote about people whom I met after joining the profession. My clients have been my senior’s clients for a long time and hence when I was handed their cases they became my clients till such time as I was handling their cases. These were people I met after I joined work. They didn’t know me I didn’t know them. Hence it was interesting to get to know each one. Even though the process wasn’t always fun. This post is dedicated to my friends/classmates who are my clients. Back when everyone was prepping for IIT/JEE I was in my own corner making plans to become a lawyer. There was one incident (in 10 th or 11 th) when I  stood on my bench and told my classmates that one day they would need a  lawyer and that day they would think of me. Who would’ve thought that those words would ever come true? (I thunk eet ufkorse I thunk eet.) While my classmates went on to engineering college I went to Law college. I have a lot of rules where people are concerned. F...

I’m in the mood for a rant. Do you enjoy a desk job? Do you enjoy the comforts of an AC and a person always enquiring if you need tea when you are really busy reading up on something and the wheels are turning in your head and just like that the interruption derails the train. Destination confusion. Because you can’t even yell at someone who is merely doing his job. I instead asked if it was okay if I made a cup for myself when I really needed it. I continued with my work ignoring the idea I had lost. Before I knew it I t was 1 o’clock. I decided to stroll around because I had been sitting for nearly 3 hours. I am not used to sitting that long. I am a fidgety human always on her feet. I don’t like being in a room behind a desk staring at a screen and pretending I care. I need to move about. My brain gets more blood to function when I pace or breathe fresh air. I hate sitting. That’s also why I quit my first job. I get head achy and cranky if I am to sit in a closed room. I got a littl...

November, 1996 stands out in my memory because that was my first encounter with the concept of death. My parents told my brother and me that our uncle had passed on and that we’d be going to Bombay to visit our aunt for a while. I knew what death meant. I had squished the life out of way too many insects to be completely oblivious to the idea of death. Yet, I believed death for humans was way different than death of insects and animals. I hadn’t seen other ants mourn for the ant I had killed. The ants just carried on with their task, when an occasional ant would stop and nudge the dead ant and it would just continue with the task at hand. When dogs got run over, the other dogs never stood around the dead dog and paid their respects. When we went to stay with our aunt after the funeral, I would always see her crying. I had never known her to cry. When we returned home, my brother came in to our room and sat across me and asked me, “Have you ever thought of what will happen to us if...

Let me just say that your smoldering gaze has resulted in every woman expecting her man to look at her the way you look at Anastasia. Having said that I just have to tell you, after India being branded as the rape capital, thanks to the banned documentary “India’s Daughter”, the movie based on your life was banned here as well. You see, the rapist said that, if his victim hadn’t fought them off she would still be alive today. You understand don’t you? The Indian man was just impressing upon the woman his desire to dominate her and all he expected of her was to simply say “yes sir” and lay still while he pleasured her. I know, I know you and Anastasia had a contract, but you ought not to be so dense as to think that the first few instances of your pleasure making didn’t happen under the terms of the contract which at that point was still being negotiated and had ergo not been signed by both parties. The Indian lawyers, I being one of them will be pleased to inform you that, that littl...

Blocking someone is an unilateral decision made that effects two people. I personally have never been comfortable blocking people because I don’t like making a choice for someone. It is not fair on my part. Most often on social networking sites I’m a private user and only people I permit in my virtual world get to walk across the threshold and that is how I prefer things, where I am in control of who gets to see what and how much of what I post on the internet. As you grow older people get too close for comfort or so distant that you don’t even know why you are on each other’s friends list. Under those circumstances I just unfriend/unfollow/Delete person from my phone-book because I know if I am feeling that way about someone and that I am giving up on reacquainting myself with them means I will certainly never be interacting with them on my own accord. By not blocking them I leave the window open for any communication or insults they may want to throw my way because bel...

Today I HAD to tag along with my dad as he shopped at the super market because I had given my vehicle for servicing and needed a ride back home. I haven’t shopped for groceries in a long time. As I helped him get everything on the list I realized that there weren’t many people around. Everybody who was there was old and I was probably the youngest shopper. I looked around and saw all these cute old people pushing their carts, pausing at every isle and pondering if they should turn in and see the shelves. There was this one old woman who seemed to remember a new item every time her turn came up for billing. One of the assistants offered to help her but she was adamant about going and picking exactly what she wanted without any aid. She relinquished her spot twice this way and as I watched her I was amused and at the same time pleased to see someone so old being so energetic. Each billing counter was occupied by an oldie. I told my dad about the woman who kept forgetting items on ...

When I first saw this Airtel Ad I thought, “Sheesh how pakao can an ad get!” Then after all the Monday flurry I had enough idle time, hence my mind just wandered on back to this ad, even though I was trying to will my mind against it. There are days when I really need to put a leash on my thoughts. Especially when they have the tendency to wander off on such puerile subject matters. Here is how I wish the ad had been thought out: Take 1:  Woman boss tells her employee (Husband) that the deadline needs to be met in a rush and that means working overtime. Boss (Wife) instead of going home stays back with team, brain storms ideas using Airtel 3G services, orders take out and everybody has a good time. Plus it means spending more time with your spouse. [Same plot if there was a role reversal i.e Husband was the boss and Wife the employee.] Take 2:   Man boss orders team to meet deadline, heads home, cooks dinner for employee wife. He does so, by usi...

Remember how Nirvana came to be and why Kurt Cobain gave up his life? He wanted to give the world something different and he did and then what he believed to be an individual pursuit became so mainstream he just gave up on his life. A band that was just 3 albums old came to its demise because the world enjoyed what it heard and wanted more of the same because it was never heard of before. Fact is everybody likes to be different. One individual steps out of the regular mould and people encourage his courage to go offbeat. Another person who sees said person’s success vies for the same and does the same. Basically a trend starts and people follow the trend. Hence the trend as of today is to step out of the regular grunge of being a lawyer, doctor or an engineer. Youngsters today are instead going for options that are available to them at the left of center. Which are musicians, actors, writers, comedians, painters, bakers, sportsperson (Badminton/swimming/billiards) etc… A...

“ This is the funny thing about growing up. For years and years, everybody's desperately afraid to be different, you know, in any way. And then, suddenly, almost overnight, everybody wants to be different, and that is where we win. ” - Mitchell Pritchett  ( Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18) I like escaping people. I have been told time and again that I am blunt. I don’t know any other way of being. I can’t smile and be all pink and cotton candy-ish. I have re–lived most my school horrors on this blog. This should give everyone a fair idea as to why I am not keen on staying in touch with my classmates. Thanks to Whatsapp though, one person who had my phone number added me in our Xth Standard Group. Thanks to said person every person I was avoiding has my phone-number. You’d think over a decade later people would at least “Grow Out” of their cliques. Nah! That is expecting too much. I am okay with the cliques. I think I got so used to it that their existence just didn’t m...

Being a lawyer is fun in most parts but on some occasions it can do to your mind what prisoners feel in solitary confinement. I enjoy the work that I do because when I started I had the option of choosing what cases I wanted to concentrate on. Once you get into litigation it is good to gain exposure in all branches – criminal, civil, personal laws, banking, corporate litigation you name it and just dip your finger tips and toes in it. When I started practice I made just one request to my senior – To not assign any family court cases to me. I can’t go near family court cases because I believed that I was jinxed when it came to those cases. He phoo-phooed me and the very first solo case that I drafted and filed in my life was a divorce case. Let me just say that the case never saw the inside of a court hall. The incident only made my resolve stronger to never ever handle a family case again. In college I had spent most of my 8 th and 9 th semester in family court helping in th...

I am not big on self-help books. I didn’t have an opinion on them until I read one. I always thought I wouldn’t read one because these books are categorized as “Self Help”. Enough said right? I mean why would one want to read a self-help book? When one can step out of their house to do whatever they want to?[I know you need legs to step out. If you have them step out. If you don’t have them figure out a way to step out. If you have legs but don’t know how to use them – I’ll imagine you as a baby between the age group of 1 day – 15 months old who is a prodigy and can read and chose my blog of all blogs to be educated about the world based on my constant rants on my life experiences. But if you aren’t in the age bracket I mentioned, please don’t try and contact me.] The first thing about experiencing anything is to actually get out there and do whatever the hell it is that your brain is prompting you to do. There are three ways that this experiment can go – You fail or succeed and...

It is 5:57 A.M and what am I doing up so early on a Sunday, you ask? Well, I am up because I have viral fever.  My nose is clogged and my throat hoarse. I have the whole husky voice thing going for me. I can’t lie down for the fear of suffocating on my own snot. Hence what better way to keep busy and distract myself from my discomfort? -  Write a new blog post. I have noticed that I always fall sick during court vacations. I somehow manage to hold myself together during the week before vacations which are by far the most hectic days of courts what with judgments/orders being passed which pretty much chart out how I’ll be spending my  vacations  (i) preparing appeals, (ii) preparing caveats or (iii) Both. It was during the last work week before summer vacations that I gave AIB my full-fledged attention. After watching all their videos on youtube I proceeded to listen to their podcast. Initially though, I felt like I was eavesdropping on a personal conversatio...