Being Lawyer – Part Deux



I previously wrote about people whom I met after joining the profession. My clients have been my senior’s clients for a long time and hence when I was handed their cases they became my clients till such time as I was handling their cases. These were people I met after I joined work. They didn’t know me I didn’t know them. Hence it was interesting to get to know each one. Even though the process wasn’t always fun.

This post is dedicated to my friends/classmates who are my clients. Back when everyone was prepping for IIT/JEE I was in my own corner making plans to become a lawyer. There was one incident (in 10th or 11th) when I  stood on my bench and told my classmates that one day they would need a  lawyer and that day they would think of me. Who would’ve thought that those words would ever come true? (I thunk eet ufkorse I thunk eet.)

While my classmates went on to engineering college I went to Law college.
I have a lot of rules where people are concerned. Friends are nice to have but when they become clients I tend to put friendship aside so that I can give them the best advice possible. (YES… YES… I give them a discounted bill!) In return I want them to respect the fact that I am a professional and just because we are friends, I will not pick their 1 am call.

Here are a few fraand species I have had the pleasure to work with:

Time? What’s that? Dory? That’s my name?: This person is the kind who has absolutely no respect for my time. For those of you who don’t know a lawyer’s work time chart here is how we work – 9am to 10:45 am we prep for cases of the day. By 11 am we are in Courts where the cases are called and accordingly we know what files have been kept by for evidence or arguments. The morning session usually is dedicated to evidence rounds where witnesses are examined or cross examined. At 2:00pm we break for lunch. 3:00pm we are back and cases that could not be called for evidence in the morning session are adjourned if there are several cases for arguments. The afternoon session is dedicated to arguments and this sometimes runs up to 6:00pm. After which we take a break and are back in the office by 6:45 to attend to clients and I call it a day by 9:00pm. My day is packed with activity, running up and down the court premises and meetings. Everything is planned to go smoothly. Hence, when a friend asks when is the best time to call, I usually ask them to call me between 9:00 am to 10:45 or after 6:00 pm but before 9:00pm. But this particular specie will call me exactly at 11:00am or 3:00pm or better still at midnight. I HATE it when people can’t let something as basic as this stick in their rather empty skulls. When I point out to them that they need to call me in the time slot I give them, this is what I have to deal with. Also if people don't want to hire "busy" lawyers they should probably find themselves a law intern for their purposes or better still a XII student who is planning to study law. They have more free time than lawyers. (Not really though. No, Even they won't have the time. Nah. No.)



“So you are a good lawyer huh? Well I have this legal tangle and I have hired Xyz who is the best. If you are really as good as you claim to be let’s see what you suggest I do in my situation.” Somebody once read Linda Goodman and did up my natal chart for me and made an announcement to anybody who would listen that I enjoy flattery and that pride is an issue for me and that I NEED to have an upper hand in every argument. Hence the above bait. I enjoy flattery ONLY when it comes from people I like. I like knowing that people I like are pleased with how I go about things. Random people saying, “Eh you are so brilliant!” bounces off me like the water off that painted wall in that paint ad that I saw on tv and conveniently forgot the brand and can’t recollect its name even as I type this incredibly seemingly unending sentence. Anyhow… I have learnt to ask these people for a cheque before I belt out advice because my words aren’t free. Which usually leads to said “friend” telling me that I am not as good as I claim to be. Please note I never said I am a good lawyer. Ever. I just enjoy being a lawyer in the courts and not in a cubicle.

Pro Bono? Yes, I like U2. Who doesn’t? This joke doesn’t go well with people who ask me if I will work for them for free. I wonder what these people think I do. I am not Iron man. I don’t have his kind of money. If I did I wouldn’t be sitting here typing a blog post. I would be in Greece looking over the roof tosp and watch as people climbed up the steps on donkeys. But this has happened and I have laughed and then my laughter transitioned to anger when said person sent me a text asking me to “reconsider” his “offer”. I am angry again while I am typing this and recollecting the entire episode.

The best kind: My favorite kind of friend clients are the ones that know about my OCD. They actually segregate the documents and hand over the documents in chronological order. They carry photocopies of ALL documents and after I verify them with the original and hand those back they hand me the photocopies which are also treated with the same care as originals and are self-attested and have their own folder. These friends ask me in advance about what needs to be done and they come prepared. So well prepared. It makes me so happy when I see someone so organized. Do you have any idea how much time lawyers waste delegating the sorting work and sometimes given the condition of the documents the lawyer has to carefully sort them out themselves and there have been times when I have handed back documents arranged in chronological order and had them bought back to me as if the person at the other end of the documents used the pages in the file as an alternative to a deck of cards. These friends also pay their fee on time and they don’t make a fuss when they see the final bill.

That pretty much sums up friends who are clients. I am further going to make a jab here and say the first 3 kinds are ALL classmates from 1st to 10th Standard. The best kind are from 11th and 12th :D

In other news my one month long weekend begins today and it promises to be a very weird weekend because in the given month I have to renew my certificate of practice, for which I need to get certified copies of my vakalaths filed from 2010 to 2015 and then I have to get myself photographed in my uniform because I don’t have any more pictures of me in my uniform and the last time I did this was in 2009. I have delegated every bit of this messy business to others but I have to go for the photographs myself. I am not too pleased with this COP business. Why won’t they make it an annual thing that can be done online? Why do they pain us with such absolutely unnecessary rules?

Also Happy Sunday. Kindly listen to this – When Doves Cry

P.S: Not a Prince Fan. Have only ever liked this song by him.

Peace. ☮


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