The guide to a perfect BARF.


    


  1. You get that barfy feeling in your stomach? Good, as long you know that alien sensation is a warning that you might hurl any moment.
  2. Acknowledge the sensation and will yourself to find a bush or a sink depending on where you are.
  3. If you are a girl and have hair that is shoulder length or longer make sure you’ve tied it up or request someone to hold it back for you.
  4. Bend over and hurl.
  5. Let it happen naturally don’t retch. You’ll only end up hurting your throat.
  6. If the hurling stops pace around slowly. I know the legs tremble, walk to get them to feel normal. Feeling like you are about to bring up again?
  7. Well repeat step 4, 5 and 6 until the feeling subsides completely.
  8. DO NOT lie back ever! You don’t want to die swallowing your own vomit.
  9. You can sit but bend forward and sit.
  10. Don’t immediately drink anything. Listen to your stomach. If your stomach asks to be replenished with liquid drink some water and make sure you sip it. DO NOT gulp it down.
  11. Feeling better? Good. Now just sit in one place and involve yourself in an activity to distract you from all the barfing. ( Right now after step 11 I’m blogging.)
  12. Feel absolutely able to stand on your feet? Well, get up wash you face and mouth and gargle.
  13. Sip some more water.
  14. Make sure you have a bottle of water with you. If you are in a car make sure the windows are rolled down.
  15. Close your eyes take deep calming breaths smell that pukey aroma? Well get home and take a shower.
  16. What ever you do after step 15 make sure you don’t over do. (Eating or drinking water) Let the stomach settle for a bit.
  17. Sleep.
Well that pretty much sums up the DO’s and DON’T’s of barfing.

Hope this guide helped you barf with confidence.


Peace.
Location: Mysore, Karnataka, India

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