Surviving…

From pranks to fibbing to doing the exact opposite of what I was told, hitting rock bottom in academics to proving that if they just let me be I might find my way back on the right track, fighting, verbally abusing classmates and teachers alike I have come a long way. I once ripped my Social Studies answer paper in front of my teacher because she told me I’d never come up to my brother’s “level”. I ripped it to shreds and threw it into the dustbin and walked out. I look up to my brother, he does things I can’t imagine myself doing. I do admire the guy, always have. But that doesn’t give anyone the right to compare us or say that one is better than the other. Like my physics viva in XI when my teacher asked, “Arundathi-95, Hari-97, Ashwini-How much?” I said, Sir still in XI, will let you know once I have written the paper. So the people from my family who studied in my school were the yard stick I was compared to. The words I uttered on that viva came back to haunt me, but that’s all over now. Oh wait I do have to mention organic chemistry; this is one subject I have to admit that got to me big time. I hated it SO much, still do. I don’t know if many people around the world have nightmares about their subjects. I have a tendency of that happening often. When I had to write my constitution paper in third year, I had this awful nightmare, where Article 32 of the constitution has disappeared, I mean it was wiped out of every book like it never existed. Not a trace of that Article anywhere, i’m asking people, “how did this happen? Where is Article 32?” They all look at me and say there is no Article 32. It was hellish I couldn’t sleep after that so I resumed studying and kept making sure that Article 32 was still in print in my book.

So, from school to the transition period from school to college I can say honestly, that I was immature, did the stupidest things and never once went back to learn from my mistakes. Do I regret anything I did or didn’t do in that phase? Yes, there are just two things for me to regret, I regret the same even today, nothing anyone says can change my stand on those two infamous episodes.

When I finally got down to assessing myself and my actions I realized that I had actually managed growing up.I have learnt that sometimes it’s better to walk away when someone tries to pick a fight with me, that will probably get to them worse than any verbal assault. Or sometimes to just give people exactly what they deserve on their face so clearly that, there are no two ways of interpreting what you say. The maturity lies in deciding which course to take when faced with such circumstances.

Since we were only 35 in school we really couldn’t divide ourselves in groups, we avoided people we didn’t want to talk to and hung out max with people we got along best with and with the rest we were civil. When I joined college, day one is so clear I looked at all these people in my class and felt so helpless because there were no familiar faces. My first instinct was to run out, but then I walked in and took a seat.

I have been there for four and a half years now and all the friends I’ve made are people who don’t belong to my class. With the exception of one guy whom I got along with from the first year. The girls in my class unfortunately are still on teen mode where talking to any male college mate is the ticket to popularity. So, if a guy, however dumb he is, a girl would rather talk to him than to any girl. This teenage mentality is not restricted to girls of my class alone but to almost all the female population of our college. The funniest thing is that boys don’t have this syndrome; of course there are a few exceptions.

Once when we were discussing books in general in the class, Earl Stanley Gardner’s name came up and a girl got up and she said she loves his books and was gushing about how she just couldn’t keep his books down, I was actually surprised because this girl didn’t seem like someone who’d read his books. So it wasn’t a surprise when my lecturer figured that the girl was referring to this man who writes M&B books.
The other instance I can recall was when we had this session during our orientation program where we had to interact with people who would be our classmates for the next 5 years. I over heard the following conversation:
[S: Hi, I’m xyz.
T: Hi, I’m abc from Andaman.
S: Hey that’s nice, i've always wanted to know when you guys celebrate Independence Day?]
I didn’t know if I should have laughed or cried at my misery of being stuck with morons like her for the next 5years.

I just hoped I wouldn’t have to talk to her and most of the people in my class. I managed that for the past four years, but now that I’m in final year and have no option but to interact with my classmates because I spend 3/4th of my day with them given our schedule.

Now, as soon as the bell rings I bolt out of the class run to my vehicle don’t look left or right, get on it and drive home. Home, my sweet heaven, I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I feel once I’m home and in my room away from people in my college. I don’t bother putting my phone back on the ringing mode; I prefer it when it’s on silent mode. My phone is the only thing that keeps me connected to them and with one button I can break that connection I love technology and I love the out skirts. 6 months more that’s all… and I’m out.