Digging "IT",Dishing "IT", Serving "IT"

These past few days have been very hard on me and people around me. Till one of my friends told me – “You are slipping into a perpetual phase of PMS get out of it!”

As much as I hate to admit it I have been a major pain to many in the recent days.

Without getting into too many details it would suffice to say that I have played the role of the understanding agony aunt on many occasions but that hasn’t exempted me from having my own rant sessions.

During one such mutual sharing of problems, my friend and I had a moment of enlightenment and for some reason that day this idea that I am about to unleash seemed to be a solution for all problems. Without much ado I present to you the “Deal With It Theory”.

The basics of the theory are as follows:

1. Everyone has problems.

2. Every individual is unique unfortunately everybody’s problem is not unique. Everybody has the same set of problems. [Yes, we all wish we were the first ones to over come our “exceptionally unique” problem but the fact says otherwise. So, generations before us have faced what we so self indulgently label as “our problems”.]

3. The very definition of problem needs revamping. Because if it is a thing that is faced by say- more than 50,000 people around the globe then it isn’t a “problem”. It is a common occurrence. Let’s call it the monoculture of the mind; I personally think it is the complete decomposition of the mind.

4. The mind has a way of ummm exaggerating the event tricking the person into believing that they are dealing with something important.

Reasons for such behavior:

1. We all like to listen to problems because it creates an invisible bond between the person ranting and the person listening. It brings a feeling of togetherness [inwardly thanking the power up there that there is some one dealing with the same thing.]

2. We all like to rant because we like the attention.

Exceptions:

1. We don’t particularly like listening to other people when we have our own problems. How is one to measure as to whose problem is more pressing?

Simple: I think my problem is far more in need of attention because it is MY problem.

SO that having been said there is only one thing for everyone with their respective problems to do – “Deal With It”

Henceforth if anyone tells me about their problems I will politely ask them to deal with it and if I have problems I will deal with it.

But see soon after I was done understanding the importance to ask people to deal with their problems I realized that I cannot say it to people directly on their face. It just seems too harsh. This again led to more discoveries.

There have been times when people have spoken to me and I haven’t been interested in the conversation yet I have sat there managing to look interested. I used to call this behavior of mine conditional hearing. But later on went on to call myself the Deaf Listener [A person who pretends to listen to the conversation but does not contribute to it.].

But recently I met the Deaf Speaker [A person who does not listen to what is being said but contributes to the conversation].

We as a specie are called Homo sapien sapien [Man wise wise] the phrase we have adopted for ourselves is an oxymoron. Need I explain more?* Our specie is the most uncomplicatedly complicated specie on the planet. In simpler words man is not complicated but would like to think he is. [I haven’t figured out why they like the concept of being complicated. But when I do figure that out it will surely be posted here.]

*{Wise adj. Having superior intelligence; having great learning; having a capacity for sound judgment marked by deep understanding.

So is man really wise? The fact that we need a double emphasis on the “wise” is hilarious. [I find it hilarious.]}

So thus keeping in sync with our specie’s nomenclature I present the sub sub specie I have encountered:

1. The Overeducated Simpleton. [ A person with several degrees/diplomas and still hasn’t learnt how to make a fire.]

2. The Child Adult. [Adult in denial of adulthood.]

And “IT” from the title = Shit

Song now playing: All you need is love-Beatles.

Yes, I am pathetic I love the band. Too bad I wasn’t born in the 60’s or no rather in the 50’s.