Fix you...

The biggest problem I find myself facing as an adult who is fully functional in this dysfunctional society is the inability of people to communicate with one another. I had been looking for a screw to fix a bookshelf that had faced neglect over the years. It was only recently that I started fiddling with it to see if I could use it for other purposes when I ventured on the idea of refurbishing it myself. I did too, after smoothing out the surface I coated it with polish let it dry out and all the while I did this it was missing a screw. I kept looking for one that would fit it. I finally found one that did. Except when I went to fix it, there was a screw that was already in place.

I was furious. What made me furious is not that someone fixed it. It was just the fact that I kept looking for a fix all this while and there it was the bookshelf was perfectly fixed. I wasn't even told by the fixer that it was fixed.

This is how the world operates. People fix things for others and move on. Whether the person wants the fix or not is not even considered. Why can't the person fixing it pause for a second to ask the person who has been working all along if said fix is okay? What locus does the fixer have over just jumping into a situation without even for a moment pondering if the other person wants someone else to fix the bookshelf for them?

This is merely a small incident in my life of over 3 decades on this planet. I have had to face bigger fixes from the fixer where my life is concerned.

I don't need a fix in my life. I don't need anyone to fix anything for me. Ask me what I want. If it is not what you want respect my decision because I am after all an adult. I have my own thoughts, wishes, principles and ideals and standards. I will not lower them nor will I budge to suit someone who will not be living my life for me. If you enjoy someone else making decisions for you, i'll respect that. But I don't need anyone to tell me what I want, what I need and more importantly what I deserve. Take a step back and ask me what I want, What I need and What I think I deserve.

Side note: I have terrible sleeping habits. True. But because I do, doesn't mean I am unable to function before 9 am? Even if I have not slept the night I can work in the morning. I can go without sleep for over 72 hours straight. Ask yourself how you expect someone to even concentrate on their work when there is absolutely no scope for silence nor is there any scope for privacy. When I don't have these and with the knowledge that I will constantly be interrupted because in the other instances that I have tried to even work in your presence I have been interrupted, thereby loosing track of things I was working on because unlike the work most people do my work depends on careful wording of arguments and contracts a single slip and I have to re read, re type and rethink everything. Of course you didn't care to put yourself in my shoes so I just accepted your tee that reads" need more sleep" because all you ever see me do is sleep.

I can adult. Because I am an adult. I adult enough when I work. When I am not adulting, it is to take a little break from being an adult that I mostly am.

P.S: Did Chris Martin try too hard to fix Gwyneth Paltrow?