The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. - Victor Hugo
In college the frequency of blogging increased during exams. The Blog was a distraction apart from being the filter to vent and sort out feelings. I always felt there was so much happening in life. So much so that it needed to be documented. Once practice began I started telling my friends about all the funny court stories and made promises of writing them down and putting them up for everyone to read. I guess I felt since I have already told people I know that read this blog what is the point in writing it all out. Becomes redundant and well there is so much to type apart from the day to day events that sometimes amuse and sometimes confuse me and of course those delightful moments when I want to Hi-5 someone. Off-late I have been typing out things that only relate to work and I think I have become rusty in expressing myself the way I used to before. I also find myself not wanting to talk about cases sometimes because Law/Courts/Cases is all one gets to hear about most of the day. I agree that these conversations are extremely educative but I’d also like to talk about “other things”- other things here mean anything that does not have to do with law/cases/courts. Is that asking too much?
People in court are weird. People use the weirdest lines to begin a conversation. People in Courts don’t really have a conversation they just tell you stuff and keep walking. I ended up standing and listening to a couple of old people during the first month in the courts merely out of respect for their age rather than the lame advice that they were belting out. Then another advocate told me to show them my file and tell them that I had to rush to a court hall. Apparently people take offence when you say you have work to do and walk away towards your destination, they’ll believe you if you burst into a sprint towards your destination! So I ran and every time I would run I would think of Forrest Gump and grin. People always want to know why I grin/smile/frown. Which is annoying because they cannot believe that I could be frowning about what one character told another in a book, or that I was smiling because I remembered a conversation with a friend which no third party could understand.
People expect people to behave in a certain way, a standard way and if you so much as go left orright of centre you’ll be sure to see some raised eyebrows. Then on the other hand I have always gone ahead and done what I want to irrespective of how people perceive me because at the end of the day I don’t want to wish I had done things differently and brood over the infinite ifs and buts that people battle with each day when they go to sleep.
Recently in a conversation I was being cautioned about getting attached to clients, then the person lecturing looked me right in the eye and said, “ But you don’t need any telling in that matter, you don’t get attached to anyone.” I know the statement is part true because I have also been asked in stronger words, “ Why are you so emotionally dead to people?” I suppose that’s because I know the importance of relationships, that I love the people I have in my life and that these few but amazing people who have seen the best and the worst in me still want to acknowledge me and like me for who I am and I have the freedom to be myself with them. I cannot say many people will understand the craziness that often possesses me and I don’t blame people for not understanding neither do I expect them to understand me. But for the ones that do, well what can I say they are the ones that I find easy to be with. It is such tragedy that only these few people will ever know awesomeness that goes by the name Ashwini, Sorry rest of the world you need to to do better than that for me to get to like you J
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